Martyn in Europe

The Righwing Rapid Response Team Replies to Peter Tatchell and His Fellow Travellers

You just couldn't make it up! The following is a statement issued by The Righwing Rapid Response Team in response to an alarming and malicious article published by known leftwing green guardianista Peter Tatchell, who goes by the name of "Peter Tatchell", and which was published today (or yesterday) in The Guardian. And which has been supported by a number of treasonous and traitorous Britain hating, minority supporting, LGBT loving, race denying, feminazi gits!

Today, we call upon every upstanding British white male and not male to join us in condemning this "political correctness", which has gone from mad to stark raving bonkers on the Political Wrister scale! We are sure that you, like us, will appreciate all too well the urgency of our call, and the need for action (bank account details to be supplied later).

1.a : Fair votes, fair votes is it?  So, you want to hang on to Old Mother Brown, that Sugar Honey Honey and your Not Now Darling …  you want to have them re-elected without an election. You are taking away our historic rights! This is not British justice! This is Scotch Corner! We want Cameroon for PM now! No! No Welshman or woman is going to tell me what to do. We, the great Britons, we, together, don't want a foreign clown as PM, we want our own. Our own!

1.b : Representative parliament – you lot of socialist layabouts just want your Labour to be in power, forever. Just like the Stalinists, and your Mao and your Fidel. Why do you hate our freedoms, why do you betray your jeans? You want to be able to hand pick MPs? We don't want your New Labour rubbish! Just say no to Ali G, Mark Steel, Mark Thomas and Georgina Galloway. Just say NO to RESPECT! "No room for respect", that's our battle cry.

1.c : Scottish electoral system – Ah! Bloody marvellous isn't it. Here we go again! The Celtic Mafia! As our great Professor Snodpod Smith - who rests in The Scrubs - said "You'll want to force the pasty faced, blue haired, and fair eyed British indigenous male to wear plaid skirts, as the ultimate, last and final act of the humiliating humiliation of a once proud nation of ethnically and genetically and similarly indigenous equivalence".

2.a : A written constitution – you want to complicate things, so you can steal our native British rights, and give them to ethnic minorities. Look sunshines, we've got a constitution, and a Margot Charter, rewritten by your great Henry the Eighth - I am, I am, and nurtured with care, and handed down from blue-blooded generation to blue-blooded generation, and now to this very day, where it resides in the careful hands of your majesty, the Queen. God bless her! Anyway, if we had a constitution that was written down, on paper that is, your bloody Prescott would probably use it as toilet paper, and put it on expenses.

2.b : Bill of rights – Named after your liberal President who couldn't keep his privates under control. This is just to allow the illegal government to issue even more taxing and spending rights – to mosques and 7th day Advertists. And we, the white oppressed, pick up the tab, we pay for Gay Pride marches, just because you don't want  to offend LGBT rights and feminists. Bollocks to that! More rights for the scuffers, less rights for the liberal-socialist scroungers and their rubbish causes!

3. Replace the monarchy – How dare you! How dare them! They want to outlaw the memory of the old Queen Mom, her elegant hats on Ascot day, the Royal tipple – it's a bloody outrage! - their evil people who want to kill The Queen of Hearts – again! Smash up her wonderful fountain, yes, that's right, the fountain that flows with the tragic romantic river of sobbing children's tears! … Then, for President of the UK, they'll want Branson Pickle, Mother BlIar, Obarak bin Laden or Alexei Sayle. You're all fookin mad!

4. An elected second chamber – No! The Lords is the only thing what works! We know why, don't we? We know what's behind all this elected lords nonsense, don't we? People only want second chamber election bollocks because the House of Lords, with all that is fine and righteous in British pomp, circumstance and empire, might upset the Pakistanis and the filthy Paediatricians. We educated and civilised the world, taught the French to cook, the Germans to think and the Italians to make cars, and THIS is the THANKS we get? Have you ever stopped to wonder why Nicked Griff is so poplar? NO! Anyway, people are daft. You can't replace the Lords, it's a job that's passed down, from father to son, in the blood.

5. The right to recall MPs – you want to pick on the BNP even before they are elected, just because they are honest to goodness British racists and homophobes, not your foreign decadent, same sex marriage, "Oh! My vicar is a lesbian" … "would you like another vol au vent", rubbish.

6. Abolition of the royal prerogative – you want to surrender the country to foreign terrorists, give up the commonwealth and give all our money to lost causes. And ban Her Majesty … the Queen! So, who is going to run the country then, Mister and Misses Funny Clogs? Where will the knowledge and experience come from, if you take away the Royal Prerogative? Eh?

7.a Strengthen the powers of select committees – that's just an invitation for more select jobs for the select boys. Why do we have to have gay and other privileges rammed down our throats, championed on our streets and up our alleyways? We don't want selection we want inheritance, and maybe an election. When do we want it? NOW! Or, whenever it is convenient for Her Majesty.

7.b It would also involve sufficient staff to service the committees – Oh yes, "room service", Typical liberal-left scroungers, Hanging around in bed all day, being waited on hand, foot and finger. You just want bigger government and multiculturalism and the EU banning our conkers and beef and bangers and bananas and taking away our right to the great traditional cooked - COOKED - English breakfast.

8. Abolition of unelected QUANGOs – Here we bloody go again! If it doesn't pour it pisses down! Removing our last connections to the commonwealth. What did Australia ever do to you??? You just want to ban smoking and drinking and Christmas, because it upsets the Jews, Muslims and Baptists. Eat your greens and shut up! Haha! haha!

9. Creation of a federal Britain – you just want to make the country weak and divided, and give money to economic migrants, and their seven kids per household – all paid by us, yes us, the great British taxpayer!

10. Greater powers for backbench MPs – You don't fool us! You just want to make sure that New Labour carries on as the worst dictatorship since Stalin, Mao and Paul Pot created the axis of evil and declared war on our values. If you want to live in that type of society, then you can jolly well go and live in Cuba, or Cardiff!

For Cod, Queens, Club and Country!

Signed on behalf of the Rapid Response Team:

Dick Headley, Chairman
Major Pratt, retired-Army
Ben Dover, MD
Jenna Tolls MP
Ura Hogg, QC
Chief Inspector Hugh Jass
Teflonda Slick, JP